I'm 24.
I'm a twin.
I love my job.
I'm left-handed.
I adore living alone.
I'm terrified of birds.
My kitten is like my child.
I'm obsessed with the color pink.
I have the best friends I could ask for.
I learned a new word yesterday (thanks Nielda!) and it's now a) my favorite word to describe my life and b) my favorite word period.
trag⋅i⋅com⋅e⋅dy –noun, plural -dies: 1. a dramatic or other literary composition combining elements of both tragedy and comedy. 2. an incident, or series of incidents, of mixed tragic and comic character.
In other news... according to the Fresno Superior Courthouse, I'm officially a Loiselle again-- just waiting on paperwork to be able to change it on my Social Security card, driver's license, bank cards, etc. AND I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow night-- yay!
It's been a crazy couple weeks, I didn't even realize it'd been so long since I updated this but I guess that makes sense since it hasn't really been an interesting kind of crazy, more of a working a bajillion hours a week kind of crazy...
The two exciting things that've happened: 1) The paralegal stealthily filed our paperwork on the 14th. She's still not returning calls to either of us but at least I can see that it's been filed. Now we're just playing more of the same old boring waiting game. Que sera sera, I say.
2) I bought a plane ticket to back home next month! In the midst of all the crazy hours I've been working I realized that I had two entire days (+ a little more) saved up so I'll be able to miss three days of work and spend some much-needed time with my family from the 18th to the 22nd of September. I caaaaaaaaan't wait! I always wish I had longer, I won't arrive until 2pm on the 18th and I leave at 2pm on the 22nd, but I'll take whatever kind of time I can get with them, no matter how long or short. My aunt is incredible and has been really helpful with getting plans made and I can't wait to spend some quality time with her. I'll be staying at her house this time-- the first time I've been there since I moved to CA almost 9 years ago! It's looking pretty probably that I won't actually make it back to Moultonborough while I'm there, which is a little odd for me but I'm adjusting to the idea... it's crazy how much things have changed over the last year. I'm excited though, I've been counting the days since before my ticket was even confirmed by the airline. :)
Other than that... work work work work work. It's a little, well... a lot stressful lately between the insane amount of work I have to do and the uncertainty of what's going to happen over the coming months but I'm trying not to let it get to me too much and to keep a positive outlook. Also trying to decide what to do when my lease runs out next month-- I really love my apartment and I absolutely adore living by myself but I'm a little concerned with what might happen with my job so... I'm just keeping my fingers crossed!
Guess that's it... time to get back to pushing that paper!
So the craziest thing happened this past week... well, it didn't really happen last week, I just realized it last week. I don't really feel like rehashing the whole story of what an absolute, incompetent moron the paralegal we hired to handle our divorce was so I'll just cut to the chase... the paperwork that I went in to sign at the end of June that made the papers/divorce we'd been waiting for for 6 months finalized-- never got filed. So after waiting for 6 weeks for the paper that says we aren't, we're still technically married. Bah.
Now I need to find time after work sometime to drive downtown to the courthouse and get it filed since we obviously can't trust the paralegal to do it (or even OWN UP TO not having done it, for real!). It's proving difficult-- lots of long days at the office lately trying to get/stay caught up on my usual work and also complete a couple big projects but it could be a lot worse! I'm hoping to have time tomorrow.
And on a completely unrelated note, I am completely and ridiculously hooked on True Blood now. I can't believe how good this season has been, it's like it gets better every week! True Blood + dinner + good company make Sunday nights something I look forward to, even if it means work the next morning!
Alright, back to waiting for these waivers to come in so I can go home! It's been a long, almost 9 1/2 hour day already!
I'm conflicted about the title of this post... on the one hand, I'm really glad that this crazy, stressful, sleep-deprived week is over; on the other hand, I have so much to get done at work that I feel like I could use either a clone or an extra day or two for the next couple weeks just to get everything done! Oh well, que sera sera.
Last weekend while Delilah and I were at Ericka's being nerdy and WoWing, her eye got all crazy swollen and icky looking and I had to take her to the kitty emergency room. Everyone there was amazingly friendly and super helpful and we were in and out a lot more quickly than I'd expected but the news wasn't quite what I was hoping for. She'd been a little sniffly and had a runny nose for a few days but I assumed she had an upper respiratory infection as is common in a lot of shelter/fostered kittens and had maybe just scratched her eye with her claws. However, it turns out she has FHV-1 (Feline Herpesvirus Type 1) and Chlamydiosis. Both of these are affecting her eyes and are chronic conditions that could have been prevented had she been properly vaccinated so the best the vet said I can do it to give her medication to help control the symptoms, which are a lot like conjunctivitis and if left untreated can result in loss of sight! She's already looking a lot better but even over the course of just a couple days I can see that sometimes it doesn't bother her at all and other times the white, inner lining of her eyes covers a big portion of her eyeball and causes pain. She's got drops for her eyes that she gets every hour, an ointment in them every six hours and a pill that I crush up and give her with food twice a day and she has been such a little trooper. I don't know if she just knows that I'll give her a treat when I'm done or if it makes it feel better but she doesn't even struggle anymore and (for the most part) she's FINALLY adjusting to the little cone she has to wear to keep her from scratching at her eyes.
So with that, I leave you with adorable kitty pictures-- I love how she keeps getting her paw stuck in her cone!
I've been meaning to write this post all week but it's been a crazy week at work AND at home so these pictures will have to suffice for now... this is the newest inhabitant of my apartment and she's pretty much the most adorable, awesome kitten ever. Expect to see lots of pictures in the future... :)
I had a random thought today that felt worth sharing....
For a long time, I always had someone to (presumably, at least) help keep me accountable-- not to any one thing in particular, just to everything... in a big, general sense. I came to rely on that so heavily, even though it's obvious now that the accountability I needed to be held to wasn't always there, that I've just assumed for the last 6 months or so that I needed to find someone else to help me with it... Thinking about this yesterday made me realize two things that make me pretty happy:
1) I don't need to have someone else to do it for me, I'm learning to not just hold myself accountable to the standards I've set for myself and my life but also to enjoy being the one to do it.
2) I have some really amazing friends that, should I fail at holding myself accountable (at least in most situations, ones they could know about), wouldn't hesitate to point it out to me, even if I might not like it. Having people like that in my life makes me feel incredibly lucky (this seems to be a common theme lately, haha!)
Ok, that was it! I'm really enjoying this whole blogging thing... :)
This weekend was amazing and crazy and bizarre and so many other words... I loved it! I just feel like writing a quick recap so I don't forget about it. :)
So Friday night Ericka had heard about what we thought was going to be a cool MJ tribute in the Tower District so around 9 or 930 we headed to where it was supposed to be and it turned out that it was... a restaurant-- and a pretty small one at that-- playing MJ songs over the sound system... not so much what we were hoping for! We spent all of about 2 minutes in there before we decided to head over to Avalon/Babylon instead. The band there was interesting, to say the least, but at least they were playing good 80s songs, even if I'm not sure how I felt about their renditions of them! Billy and Ericka whooped me at pool for a while until Nanda got there, and then all three of them whooped me... I'm a horrible pool player!
Anyways, the funniest part of the night was when the guy who was there with his friend (who tried to hit on Ericka, haha) came over and introduced himself to me at the bar and I realized that not only had I met this guy before, but we'd actually hung out quite a bit... The summer after I graduated high school my old friend Melissa and I met him and a friend of his at Blackbeards randomly and he and I quasi- sort of kind of dated or something. It was too funny, we both remembered such different, random things about when we met/hung out the first time and we spent most of the rest of the night/morning talking and catching up and stuff. It was good times... very, very drunk good times... Oh! Despite the random awesome-ness of running into Darren again, my favorite part of the night came just after last call when Ericka rushed over to me with a jager bomb already dropped in the cup and when I asked about it (because neither of us really needed anything else to drink at that point!) she told me "They said it was closing time and I panicked!"... I love that girl. :)
The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful. I spent Saturday recouping and catching up on the first season of True Blood (which I finally finished-- yay!). We BBQ'd, Rockband'd and swam at Ericka's Saturday night and both Darren and his friend that was at the bar with him (why can I never remember his name... was it Dave?) came over and hung out. JD and Jenny were in town too-- every time I see Jenny now it feels like I haven't seen her in forever... it makes me sad! E and I need to work on convincing them to move back to Fresno. ;)
And not weekendy but still something good... yesterday was the best Monday I've had in months! I spent most of my day working (right through lunch, so I got to go home early!) on reconciling our bank statement with my boss and the feeling of figuring it out after so much work was so rewarding! I'm such a nerd sometimes, but I really do like my job. :)
Alrighty, it's time for lunch-- today is positively CRAWLING by!
Whether my life is calm and quiet or crazy stressful and full of drama, there are so many little things that make me happy and trying to remember that and be thankful for those small things has been something I've worked on really hard over the last year or so. I'm going through a calm period right now and sometimes when that happens I just don't know what to do with myself so this morning on my way (late-- oops!) to work I made a mental list of the little things that are making me happy right now and felt the need to document it. Here's my list...
* Bagelfuls for breakfast in the morning. * My voicemail boyfriend, Duncan. * My awesome pink iPhone case. * How funny and fun to spend time with my friends are. * Pandora. * How much I love my apartment and living alone. * Hour long phone calls where nothing important is said. * Making it through another Monday.
First things first-- the highlight of my 4th of July this year was that, unlike last year, it didn't leave any permanent scars! I'm so going to post a picture of the aftermath of last year's neighbors' fireworks show (I tripped on the way home from it, it had nothing to do with the fireworks) when I get home....
This year was pretty low key and relaxing, it was just right... Nielda, Ericka and Clint and I lounged around at Ericka's for a while in the afternoon watching True Blood (which is amazing in it's own special way) and Rockbanding until Billy got home and then the girls swam while Billy and Clint did the manly thing and BBQ'd burgers for dinner. After dinner we did our usual game of Loaded Questions, which never fails to be a good time, before it got dark enough to break out the fireworks Clint brought over.
The guys did a great job making our own little fireworks show! Ericka found out that the little things that you throw at the ground that make a little snapping noise make a spark when you throw them and we amused ourselves for a while throwing them at the guys' butts and then giggling like 5-year-olds. After our fireworks were done Nanda made it over we took the show on the road and wandered Ericka's neighborhood watching other people's (sometimes illegal) fireworks too-- I'm still really happy that nobody at that corner house set themselves or anyone else on fire!
The pictures are sparse this year, our group photographer was MIA (Jenny and JD were tubing in... Lemoore, Hanford?) so I think there's one of me, Ericka and Nielda watching fireworks and a couple of them with their roman candles... maybe someday Nielda will post 'em on Facebook so I can steal/post them... someday!
Today is a big day for me. It's hard to process all the thoughts running rampant in my head and harder still to siphon out only the ones worth sharing and assemble them into words and sentences that form coherent thoughts rather than inane ramblings but I'll try.
Six months ago was the day that Greg and I finally took the step of filing paperwork for a "Dissolution of Marriage" (which seems to be a much more fitting term than "divorce"). We'd been decided for almost a month prior to that and just... well, I don't know why we waited. I think there was a period where we both thought we might change our minds or realize that we were making a mistake but all that month did for us was continually reinforce that we just weren't right for each other any longer, we weren't in love anymore. It was a really hard realization to come to... not in that it was necessarily difficult to realize that we didn't love each other, although it did take a while, but in that it hurt us both to know that it was mutual and it hurt to realize that after all the hard work and tough times we'd made it through together, this was going to be the last of those.
The last six months have been a ridiculous rollercoaster of emotion for me. The first couple months were undoubtedly the hardest, having to deal not only with not having that one person who'd always been there for me around to help me through it but also dealing with moving back in with my parents, who I hadn't spoken with in over a year and a half. Things obviously turned around; I found a new job, moved into my own apartment for the first time ever and went through a lot of personal growth and change. I also really came to realize what amazing friends I have during that time-- without them, I wouldn't be where I am today or be the person that I've become, which is happily a person that I really like for the first time in more years than I'd care to admit.
The realization that today was approaching started around the time of what would've been our two year anniversary last month, a day that passed with more ease and less heartache than I'd imagined it could (his 30th birthday was undoubtedly the most emotional). I've run the whole gamut of emotions about it... from being terrified of the finality of it being recognized legally, even though it had already been final in our lives for quite some time, to being excited and happy and full of hope for what's to come and the choices I'll get to and have to make in the future to missing the good times we had and the obstacles that we managed to overcome together. I'm still mildly terrified of taking my maiden name back; it's got nothing to do with the actual name and everything to do with how much I've changed and grown from the person I was when I had that last name, which I didn't really like, to who I've become and am still becoming. I realize it's just a name, a couple letters tacked onto the end of my first name, but there's a certain significance to it that's hard to escape.
Today has been delightfully normal. I made a phone call to the paralegal who filed our paperwork and all that's left is to take our Request for Judgement to the courthouse downtown and with that simple act... it's done. Greg and I spoke briefly through text message, without any arguing or resentment... more with a weird feeling of camaraderie that I think we've developed through this whole experience. I think we're both at the point where we realize that even if this isn't what we'd pictured for our lives, this is how it is and we've got to do the best with what we have. I don't know what the future holds for Greg and I; there've been many conversations about trying to remain some sort of friends but if that's not meant to be, it's just not, and I firmly believe that things will work themselves out the way they're supposed to. I have no doubt that there will still be bumps and hard times, but I sincerely feel like the worst of it is over and I'm just excited to see what the next couple of years hold in store.
This weekend started just like every other weekend: breakfast with Ericka at The Fresno Breakfast House (yum!) and then spending most of the rest of the day running errands, cleaning and putting together my new bed frame (since I FINALLY got my mattress)! A successful day overall, but what made it even more successful was Ericka's 9 o'clock phone call asking if I wanted to go to Santa Cruz-- right now! So her and Billy got themselves packed and picked me up and we headed to Santa Cruz! It was fun to be so spontaneous!
Santa Cruz is about three hours from Fresno, probably a little faster with Ericka driving and the complete lack of traffic so when we got to town and checked into our hotel, Ericka and I spent a while walking on the beach (about a block away from our hotel room!) and the wharf before calling it a night. Funny thing-- on the way back to the hotel there was some sort of surfing... dummy... doll thing on the roof of the building next to the hotel-- I about had a heart attack! It looked like a real guy was on the roof! We felt the need to preserve the memory of our scared faces, as you can see... (yeah, we really like pictures!)
The next morning we got up and had breakfast (Billy and I had these amaaaazing smoked salmon omlettes, even though they got our orders backwards and Ericka had one with..... crab, I think? They were delicious!) before heading toward the pier! We got there early enough to walk around and look at all the rides and booths and stuff before it got too crowded since they didn't open until 11am and when they did open we waited in line for all of 15 minutes or so to go on the Big Dipper-- a really cool roller coaster that's made infinitely cooler by the fact that there's a fantastic view of the beach from it! Riding a roller coaster on a beach is definitely something I'm glad I got to do... ahh, I love the beach.
We spent the rest of the afternoon driving around taking in the scenery. This picture is from our very brief stop at National Parks State Beach (I think that's what it was called) where it was increeeeeeeeeedibly cold! We didn't stay long, just enough to take a quick picture and continue on down the coast. We stopped for a lunch break before finding a relatively un-crowded beach to lay out on for the afternoon. I got some quality napping, book-reading and walking on the beach done... my kind of Sunday!
Overall, a pretty fantastic way to spend my weekend. It's so nice to be able to just pack up and go somewhere for the day and to have great friends to do it with! I think we all came home with sunburns, despite the fact that we used sunblock, but it'll go away soon enough and it was worth it just to get out of Fresno for a weekend-- at least in my opinion!
Oh, and here's evidence of my amazingly retarded sunburn... yes, I was wearing a t-shirt since the weather was supposed to be chilly!
I also can't resist posting a picture of my bed-- I'm so proud of myself for putting it all together myself and excited to finally have the bedset I've been wanting for a year! And, the best part, it didn't fall apart when I slept in it last night! Yay! Now to finally get around to making my room look a little more... lived in. :)
If you haven't seen it, go! I saw it with Ericka and Billy on Friday night and we literally laughed from start to finish. By the time we left the theater, my stomach hurt from laughing so much.
Seriously, no other words will do this movie justice so just go see it if you haven't yet!
So apparently there's been something wrong with posting comments on here, even though all the settings looked like they should allow anyone that wanted to to post. It seems to be (maybe?) related to the template I'm using. It should be fixed for now but I guess maybe I should figure out how to make it allow embedded comments... or find a new summery one! :)
I was trying to resist blogging about this since it's incredibly nerdy of me but I figure if Jenny can blog about fish and Ericka can blog about larynges (how sad is it that I know the plural of larynx?!) then I can blog about my nerdy interests too!
So for those of you who haven't heard about it yet, lots of news came out of Apple's WWDC yesterday-- laptops, the new OS coming in September and of course, iPhone news! While the laptops are interesting enough in their own way, I don't need one of those and the OS upgrade (that'll only be $29, yay!) in September will be great for speeding up my computer and getting some space back, with few to no actual new features.... I'm drooling over the iPhone updates, especially since my current iPhone is a) 1st gen, b) incredibly beat up (I'll try to remember to post a picture of the missing chunk later!) and c) becoming hazardous to my health... or at least my fingers!
Here's a rundown of the new features that I'm most excited about:
Faster speeds for everything from internet to opening apps and increased battery life!
Video! Capturing, sharing... it's all here!
Voice commands for dialing, searching, controlling music.
Spotlight! I'm forgetful so being able to search across any application is amazing!
MMS! It's ridiculous that we can't do it now... even cheap pay-as-you-go phones can send picture messages, why should I have to look up all the carriers' emails to do so?!
A better camera! More megapixels + tap to focus = win!
GPS! Yes the 2nd gen iPhones had this, but mine didn't! I get lost enough for this to be a great investment!
Tethering, yay! Not so important right now (especially since AT&T dropped the ball and isn't ready for it yet) but would be nice when school starts in the fall!
Copy and paste! And an undo!
Ok... I'm done being such a mondo nerd, I suppose. I just needed to get it out of my system! Besides, I know at least a couple other people who are just as excited as I am-- Jackie told me she had a "phone-gasm" while we were both reading the liveblogging of the keynote address yesterday! haha...
Oh yeah, here's a link to watch the keynote and a site with a good summary of the features new to the 3G S if anyone else is as nerdily interested in it as I am.
Did I mention that I'm nerdy enough that I'm planning to wait in line for it again... yes, I waited a couple hours for the 1st gen when we were in RI but this time there's an AT&T store like 5 minutes from my house and I hear they'll be opening at 7am on release day-- just enough time to snag one before work, I hope! Just trying to decide if I'm getting a 16g or trying to justify a 32g to myself... we'll see! :)
The last week or so has been blissfully uneventful, un-blogworthy and drama-free except for a couple minor things that are hopefully being quelled before they turn into full-blown drama-- we are so too old for this crap now! Even so, it feels like I still have a ton on my mind and I'm realizing that as hard as I try, I don't always handle that particularly well. I guess these things take time to learn though... maybe I just expect too much from myself too fast.
And in other non-news, I'm not only completely obsessed with the Twilight series right now, but I also found the episode of The Office that I hadn't been able to find online so I'm partway into the 5th season now and having a hard time tearing myself away from that too! It pretty much makes me a hermit, I guess.
Watching Twilight with Ericka last night after finally reading the book was pretty much the funniest thing ever. I felt a combination of "Oh, this make so much more sense now that I've actually read the book and realize the parts of the story that the movie doesn't have time to tell us!" and "Wow, the book is so much better than this that it makes the movie seem kind of silly..." Realizing that Jasper looks a little like Q-bert was one of the highlights of the movie for me-- I wish I had a picture of B so I could post a side-by-side comparison!
Anyways, enough rambling! Here, watch the trailer for New Moon!
I feel like I don't have the ability to form the words right now that are going to express how frustrated I am or make me feel any better. Time for some things to change again...
Whaaaaat a weekend! I guess I'll start from the beginning...
Friday night Ericka and Billy had an extra ticket to see Ghostland Observatory at The Mezzanine in San Francisco so we all drove up there when Billy got off work. Getting there was an adventure (note to us: take the 5 SOUTH, not North!) and we thought we might miss a little of the show but we made it in plenty of time to check into our hotel, walk to the concert and still wait around for them to come on. The show was... amazing. It was crazy crowded and hot and there were all kinds of ridiculous, sweaty, pushy boys around us dancing on our toes and causing us (or me at least) to consider random acts of violence but it was completely worth it-- although getting back to the hotel and taking a shower to wipe off all of those strangers' sweat was probably one of the best feelings I've experienced in quite a while! There really just aren't enough words to explain how much fun I had at that concert! (And I totally stole that picture from Ericka's blog since I FORGOT my stupid camera!)
Saturday we spent the day in San Fran doing fun touristy things... breakfast at a cafe near the hotel, riding the cable cars, walking around Fisherman's Wharf and going to the aquarium (the tunnel of fish and the jellyfish were sooooo cool!), eating at the sourdough bread place (omg yum!), watching the Bush Man (I could've stayed there for hours-- check out this link that Ericka found!) and getting free chocolate at Ghiradeli Square. It was a little windy and hovered around 50 degrees all day which was a little cooler than I'd prepared myself for but I'll take that over 100 degrees any day!
Sunday was really, really, really uneventful. In fact, I stayed in my pajamas for the entire day. It was a nice change of pace since the last couple months have just felt really hectic with everything going on. I got way into my book (finally reading Twilight, even though I've seen the movie already...!), played a little WoW, cleaned a bit... it was incredibly relaxing-- I hadn't realized how badly I needed a day like that until I finally got it!
Yesterday was another relaxing morning and then we BBQ'd and swam/stuck our feet in the pool at Ericka's. It really is nights like last night that remind me of how lucky I am to have such amazing friends. Even when we're not doing anything special... BBQ'ing, playing board games, watching Obsessed... it's just so good to be around them. In the middle of our board game, Ericka got the idea that we should all make a sticky note with our name on it and pass it around the table so everyone could write what we like about that person on it and even though it seemed kind of silly, like a summer camp activity or something, it really made me think about what it is that I love about all my friends. We had a lot of good questions playing Loaded Questions last night too, it was hilarious to hear everyone's answers and then to look at how random our papers were at the end-- it was amazing! I love that when the question "What would you not want to see charging toward you in an open field?" was asked (or something like that, anyway...) Ericka and I BOTH wrote "My mother"! We agreed when the answers had been chosen that the only thing we could've put that would be better than our answers was BOTH of our mothers! It was so funny that Jenny had to memorialize it for us.
Overall, it was a great, DRAMA FREE weekend and I'm sorry it's over but it's nice to have things returning to normal!
The funniest part of this story is that I'm pretty sure I know people who would do this! Can you imagine how ridiculous she must've felt when the paramedics got there?! So much win. :)
You know... yesterday was the 19th. I'd been dreading it for weeks but it was nowhere near as bad as I anticipated. In fact, I hardly thought of the significance of it all day. That's definitely a sign of some good progress!
Oh, and American Idol was complete bullshit last night-- are they kidding me?! First they have to sing a song that we've already heard... then they each sing a song some old guy picked that nobody knows and doesn't fit their style... and then they sing that crap that Kara co-wrote? Wow... talk about anticlimactic. I hope tonight's finale is better, but I'm not really holding out hope!
I feel like this song is a pretty good expression of how I feel about my life right now... it's a constant work in progress but I'm happy with how far I've come!
No more lying to myself Pretending to be someone else And now I'm hiding how I feel behind a smile Living in constant self denial
There's something I need to say
No more running from my fights And no more giving up when I know I'm right Sick of trying to fit in Wondering what I could have been
There's something I need to say Its growing everyday Things are going to change
I wont apologize For who I come to be
Cause who the hell am I If I cant be me I've wasted too much time On insecurities Cause who the hell am I If I can't be me
No more need to justify Everything I do, everything I like No more blood from biting my tongue Too afraid to upset anyone
There's something I need to say
No more guilt for what I see Staring at the mirror back at me
There's something I need to say Its growing everyday Things are going to change
I wont apologize For who I come to be Cause who the hell am I If I cant be me I've wasted too much time on insecurities Cause who the hell am I If I can't be me
And it feels like I am naked Stripped for you to see My scars and imperfections But you don't seem to notice Cause your too busy covering up your cuts and bruises From who knows what Just like me
So why apologize For who I've come to be Cause who the hell am I If I cant be me I've wasted too much time On insecurities Cause this is who I am and that's fine with me
I've been thinking a lot this last week about what I perceive as a lack of balance in my life and what I can do about it.
The last year or so, but particularly the last 6 months, has been one of the hardest times of my life that I've ever had to go through. At one point I wished I could go back a couple years and change the way that things played out but I realized about a month ago that I've finally reached a point where even if things haven't been easy and I've made more mistakes than I care to admit to, I'm happy with the point that it's brought me to.
This month has been a difficult one, mostly feeling like it was just one thing after another being piled on me and I couldn't get a break and was definitely a little overwhelmed. Tonight I was thinking about my lack of balance and was kind of in a funk when I was reminded again that I have some really amazing friends, even some who know what I need to do to feel better when I can't figure it out for myself and they haven't stopped being there for me whether it was a good week, a bad week or just somewhere in the middle.
On the topic of balance though... it's one of my new things to work on. Not that I'm done with my other goals for myself, but they're solidly in progress and it seems like a good time to add a new undertaking. I'm so happy with the job I have right now and with where I'm living but the personal side of my life isn't where I'd like it to be. I feel like I've regressed a little from where I was a month ago and I can definitely see some of the reasons for that so I'm going to start working on that.
Anyways, it's definitely time for bed. Yay for my new blog. Even if nobody ever reads it, it feels good to have a place to just... get it all out.
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